My new BFF.

Surprise!!!

Alright... Let me tell you a small story. It's a bit personal and I realize this but if you are comfortable being so personal with me... read on.

Dave and I got married 7 years ago. I was not the kid type. I am way more now that I have one but... So, I had no problem going to school, graduating and working for awhile. It just felt good to accomplish something so early in my life. Then, I started to get baby hungry, don't ask me how this happens to someone who was terrified of babies. Dave and I tried and thinking it was as easy as a wink, I was frustrated with waiting for a year for it to happen. I felt like something was wrong with me. But having patience kinda proves one a silly dilly. We got pregnant with Lauren and had our precious pea on the 4th of July of all days. (it fits her) She was early and I was freaking out... Pregnancy with her was a breeze and I only had one day that I felt sick, it was a good combo of a lot of things that did it to me. So when she came, it just felt surreal. I guess that describes becoming a parent right, surreal?

Off we three went to Virginia! Spent two wonderful years with friends and the water and the beautiful east coast. During this time... I got baby hungry again and we wanted to have another little one. But... if you have had to learn patience once... well doesn't mean you don't have to learn it more and even harder. Over two years ago Dave and I started trying again. We succeeded and failed a couple of times and all I have to say looking back at those really really really hard times, I am so blessed. The Lord was with me. He sent me a wonderful miracle when we were on our way (packing up in Virginia) to Utah, Dave needed to take a really hard end of rotation exam along with another exam for graduating. He happened to be with a great OB/GYN who was able to help me on such short notice and was so kind with my emotions. I felt so blessed with great friends who helped me on my way on a six day drive to Utah. Sigh. Dave and I succeeded again four months later. Super nervous about this, afraid that it would happen again I opened up to the wonderful wonderful friends around me who, honestly I feel I was blessed with not just to be friends with them, but I feel the Lord helped me have them in my life right then. I had such support when Dave was gone to Virginia getting ready to graduate and I was pretty much a wreck. But even when it was just Lauren and me and things really hit the fan... the Lord blessed me with a super sweet little girl that was more of a support than any two year old could be. She put her hand on me and said in that little sweet angel voice of hers," Mom why are you crying?" and I could barely muster out," because mommy has had a really bad day." she was quite for a bit and then said," It's okay mommy, it's going to be okay." I really feel I was blessed and the Lord showed he was there for me through the wonderful little and big people around me.

So after a break and a sigh and a recoup we thought well we got to get going again. And four months ago... well let's just say We are four months PREGNANT! Yeah!!! Hip Hip Hooray!! We kept our mouth closed so long because it just was very frustrating to say, "We're pregnant!! Yeah!" and then "Ummm not anymore" But here we are!!! And I can not tell you how grateful and happy and so overwhelmed with joy that this is happening! And the sound of that beautiful beautiful and wonderful heartbeat each and every time I hear it. Oh it's music to me. I cry every time i hear it. At the last check up this little one was kicking like crazy and it was the first time I could feel it. I laughed then cried. It's so wonderful!! Mothers day was kinda fun, I got an extra big kick during sacrament, kinda like Mommy I'm here Happy Mother's Day, love you. It's such a blessing and sure, I'm scared out of my pants to have a baby again but... nothing ever happens the same twice. And, as bad as I feel for saying this but not that I don't love Lauren more than my own air, I want this more than with Lauren. With Lauren I was mostly just unaware and scared. This feels good.

Lauren is pretty excited and she'll still have hard days (same as me) but she prays and says, "and thank you for my sister" and I just laugh because we don't know what we are having yet. She can't wait to help but, "not with the poopy diapers because they stink. ;)" Dave is excited too... I think he's afraid we will become miserably trapped like last time but... I hope we know how to handle things a bit better now. Dave thinks we are having a boy. He might be right... He was right with Lauren when I was wrong. I would love a little boy, and I would love a little girl... Honestly I would love either. I would love to have a boy because I just can't wait to have a sweet little boy of my own and for Dave to have a boy to do all those fun things that he can do with Lauren but... boys are different. I would love a little girl. Girls are so fun and Lauren would have a sister. Every girl out there with out a sister understands me. I would feel horrified if I didn't let Lauren have a sister. I can't control fate though so...

Here's the question... What do you think we are having?


Dave's parents and sister think we are having a boy. ;) I thought for sure we were having a girl at first. For sure! But now I call him a him. I felt like the heart beat was so clear and I have been sick but... I'm asking ya'll because it's just a fun game and we find out in two weeks :) Yeah!!

Well.... Surprise!!! We are pregnant and due in October! four days before my B-day ;) it will be a good present.